Passive-aggression and Dr. Phil

Hi all,

Well, I may not have posted anything new for awhile, but at least I posted the same message several times. Oh well, my computer ineptitude strikes again.

I have recently begun a clandestine campaign to annoy Dr. Phil as much as he annoys me. You see, Dr. Phil’s cliché-filled, simple solution focused, confrontational horseshit is now what many people think constitutes therapy. It doesn’t, and none of the crap he spews will work. Unfortunately, actual therapists now have to compete with this hillbilly Hippocrates when counseling clients suffering from complicated and multifaceted problems. Even worse, I am certain there are a tremendous number of clients who are unwilling to come to actual therapy because they think it will be as hokey and mean-spirited as the so-called “wake-up calls” issued by Dr. Phil.

My first tactic in my Dr. Phil war is to infiltrate his message board and take him down from the inside. To this end I intend to post messages on their board until I am kicked off. Here was my first attempt. It concerns some episode in which a 13-year old girl claimed to want to get pregnant or something (I don’t know exactly because I only skim the recaps).

“Wow. All of you seem to be as quick to judge as Dr. Phil. I guess I have a couple of questions I’d like to have answered before branding “harlot” onto the poor 13 year-old’s forehead. First, if she wanted to be pregnant and truly thought she could handle a kid, why is she asking for birth control? Using condoms doesn’t seem terribly consistent with getting pregnant. Second, if she wanted to have sex undeterred, why would she tell her mother anything at all? I know when I was a teenager I did everything in my power to ensure my mother did not discover what I was doing with whatever partner I was seeing at the time. The 13 yo’s mother doesn’t seem to have a lot of time for her; why is that? What circumstances in their lives contribute to this state of affairs? Are there unavoidable financial pressures that compel her to work long hours? How has her mother been treated by men? In what way may this serve as a model for the way she is being treated by men (or boys)?

It is amazingly arrogant of all of you to assume you really understand someone after seeing them interviewed for 15 minutes between commercials for Tide and Walmart. I wonder how aspects of your life would appear if compressed into easily digestible 15 minute summaries. Would all of your parenting decisions stand up to such quick and facile evaluation?”

This biting criticism garnered no response at all though it was posted on the site. For my second attempt, I used a different strategy. This time I was subtly sarcastic in response to a moronic thread in which a whole bunch of white-trash Dr. Phil fans were suggesting that a rude 14-year-old girl should be spanked.

“Dr. Phil is right. People need to own their own actions. I don’t think Jodie is owning her actions right now, but her parents are owning their actions either. Everyone in the family seemed pretty impulsive. I know I was impulsive when I had ADHD. Maybe Jodie has ADHD. Her mother may have it as well. You shouldn’t spank Jodie if she has ADHD, she just needs a prescription for amphetamines. Then maybe everyone could take responsibility for what they contribute to the negative interaction and their could be some peace in their house.”

I fear the amphetamine comment may have made things a bit too obvious. I will keep y’all posted.

And fuck Dr. Phil!